“Keep holding on, all I got is holding on these roses, the thorns will keep on digging, but my soul believes…I see!”
So the start of my quarter hasnt been exactly what I expected. I was thinking spring quarter, a new beginning, a fresh start again, nicer weather, and overall just better especially after the hard times I had in winter quarter. But of course, everyone has their high times and their low times. On monday after attending my last class for the day and ready to start whip myself into shape, I received a disturbing call from my uncle saying that my cousin had just been in an accident and he was on life support.
All of a sudden I became short of breath. I didn’t want to freak my uncle out even more because he sounded so scared and sad so I calmly told him that I would tell my parents, of which i did immediately after.
After I left the gym, the reality started to come in. My cousin might not make it. I called my closest friend and asked her to pray with me over the phone because I needed to calm myself down. She prayed with me and i walked back up to my room. My dad called me right before I went into my room and told me that it was a pretty bad accident, that the girl in the car with him died, and to expect the worse. I tried for a little bit to expect the worse, but as I thought more and more about it, it just pained me to think that my cousin was on the brink of death.
I went to my room after I called my sister and started to cry. My sister called me again, crying saying ‘what if he doesn’t make it?’. My first thought was nothing is impossible with God. NOTHING! So I told her and prayed with her over the phone and calmed her down and after I talked to her, I broke down, again, and cried. I was so scared and cried and prayed and cried and prayed. I wasn’t sure whether to expect the worst or hope for the best. After I calmed down I sat down and read my bible because that was the only thing that could calm me and make me sane again ha.
As I was reading, I came across a passage in Psalm 62
“My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.”
I immediately stopped. I thought about it and I thought, why am I upset? Am I not a child of the Almighty GOD?! Just as he provides for the birds in the sky, will He not do the same for me and my family? My mind set changed from all expectations I had to just putting my hope and expectations in Jesus! He hears me. He heard my cry. I just needed to put my faith in Him!
I did just that. I put everything I had in Him.
God gave me so much comfort. He helped me take my mind off of everything that was worrying me and actually helped me to enjoy the rest of the day, despite the circumstances. Later my parents called me and told me that they were scheduling a surgery for my cousin but first they needed his blood pressure to be stable, and by the grace of God, it did stabilize and they were able to do surgery on him.
Currently my cousin is still unconscious but he is slowly improving and I know with my heart and my soul that is because of God! Whatever may happen, I am just holding on to God and his love and peace and comfort. I continue to pray and hope in the Lord and I continue to place my expectations in the Lord because His plan is perfect and He knows what is and what is to come.
I wrote this not only to ask for your prayers for my cousin, my family, and the family of the girl, but to also remind everyone to put your expectations and hope in the Lord, because He is truly a provider. Whatever may be troubling you, just know that God WILL provide whatever He thinks you need!
I know this may not be coherent because I am not the best writer in the world but I really felt like I needed to share this. God Bless everyone!
-Amber C.
