night of worship
dearest jesus,
this is my fourth year at ucla and i remember going to my first passion church praise night my freshman year. i remember hearing jaeson ma speak for the first time and give his testimony, caleb lead worship, and college students crying out for revival. it was so radical, then. i had just come back to you, literally lord. so fresh from the grace and salvation from my sin and shame senior year.
tonight, was the beginning-of-the-year praise night hosted by passion church again. And it was so good. I felt so much of your presence lord. from the beginning body worship to “a little longer” i felt moved to tears. jesus i never know what exactly i want to say once i have this text field open, but i guess lord my heart yearns to know what you are up to, how you are moving, what is your heart feeling, what’s your plan.
both today and at onething on friday, the speaker talked about how youre going to pour out your spirit in the last days on your sons and daughters, old men will dream dreams, sons and daughters will prophesy. ive always stayed away from asking for the gift of prophecy, never really desired it at all, and now i still dont really want it to serve oh as a way to confirm that i’m really in tune with you, and can tell the future for people without enough patience to find out what their future holds and then they’ll finally believe you, but for the first time, i want it because you desire to give it, because it is the fruit of the outpouring of your spirit, because lord i just want to hear your WORD, specific and sure and lord i want your spirit and the holy spirit does tell us of things to come, so yes lord i want to know how you’re moving, how you’re going to move, what you want me to do, what you want your people to do, God i just want your word. at your word, lord, i want to move. at your word, lord, i want to be changed and filled and be used and renewed.
god sometimes i feel like gah we’re just doing the same ol thing, we’re such ineffective hands and feet jesus! helppp us! prepare the good soil. open the doors. let us just glean among the sheaves like ruth did, how you gave her favor with boaz, and he had his young men purposely let grain fall from the bundles for her that she may glean. God let us reap the harvest, and glean and pick up the people you want to know you. when i was in moore, lord i just felt so much of your overwhelming goodness and love and it really makes me soo soo sad that people don’t have this, don’t have you. when i saw jeanelle dancing with so much abandon and emotion on her face, and thrusting her arms forward with such passion, crouching low, dancing with such fluidity and grace, i really just felt a surge of warmth and identification, that’s what you do to us lord, thats what you do for us, you cause us to dance, you cause us to throw up our arms in surrender and worship and abandonment, and we can twirl and spin in a freedom, and ever fall to our knees because we don’t deserve it. how could you be so good?
jesus, i dont know what you are up to this year. i know you do not move by years, or the uc quarter system, i know that people like grace must’ve thought that revival would have come in her four years at ucla, and now she’s done. she’s out of college and moving into the workforce, and who knows, that may very well be the exact same case for me cause it isn’t about me. but lord, holy spirit, jesus, i just ask that you do move and while i am here, use me in the fullest capacity, use your people in YOUR fullest capacity for what you want us to do in this year, and the next, and the next and the next.
there’s a church plant happening at hoc, and same thing, lord, what is your plan? what are you up to? i know it must be good. jesus, i pray that you would keep me so so incredibly close to your heart, that i always hear it, that i always move to it, that i always obey it, long after the song fades, long after the bass wanes, long after the worship leaders end their riveting spiels and desperate prayers, long after this night. i thank you lord, that you are so constant, and that you’re taking me along for the ride, because it has been 3 years since the first time i really heard people at ucla pray for revival, and God it’s so good to see some of those same people up there, preaching the good truth, and that you’ve softened my heart to still break for you. but again, moveeeee through us that ALL the earth may truly rejoice and know Your precious name.
